200+ (BEST) Famous Andy Dwyer Quotes
Andy Dwyer Quotes
“I’m allergic to sushi. Every time I eat more than 80 pieces, I throw up.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I don’t know who Al Gore is and at this point, I’m too afraid to ask.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I just wrote a new song. Okay. Bottom line: it’s called ‘Sex Hair’.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I have no idea what I’m doing, but I know I’m doing it really really well.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“For the last time, Ron, it’s Princess Rainbow Sparkle.”- Andy Dwyer Quote
“I don’t know how to do that. I don’t know what that is. I have no idea who that is. That scares me. Someone please tell me what the hell it is.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“This would be a great weekend to forget.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“This is the first time I’ve been to a wedding where I’m not the groomsman.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“It’s really hard to find my apartment because it’s in another castle.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I’ve been sticking the butt in a lot lately.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“There are no such things as ghosts, but there are such things as ghost shirts, which are shirts that ghosts wear.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay!”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I’m going to marry that pig and I’m going to build a house on top of it, where we’ll live together forever.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I used to let bees sting me so I’d be immune for life.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“She’s got a lot of heart but she’s also got a great deal of face.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“My mom’s a way cool lady, but I have my doubts about her parenting skills.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I broke the nose off of that stuffed dolphin.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“We got so many boat tickets in this god forsaken country.”- Andy Dwyer Quote
“Let’s make a list of the stuff we hate and then do a lot of it!”- Andy Dwyer Quote
“They got a best friend for every occasion.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I’m an adult woman and I have a hot plate in my bedroom. No, it’s not weird. I don’t know why you’re looking at me like that.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I want to see more animals and less humans.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I blame global warming for the fact that it’s so cold today.”- Andy Dwyer Quote
“Hey, I like turtles.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I don’t know how to change a tire, but I’m going to learn how soon.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“Ron is really into all the natural dangers of camping.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“Who are you?” “Oh, my. What am I doing? This is so weird!”- Andy Dwyer Quote
“I’m not really comfortable with big giant spiders crawling on me.”- Andy Dwyer Quote
“My name is Andor. I like turtles. I like a lot of things.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“Every great character has a great catchphrase.”- Andy Dwyer Quote
“I’m as healthy as a horse, and twice as smart.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“You know, I follow a lot of people on Twitter. And they tweet out pictures of themselves with lots of fans, and I’m not really that way.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I’ve been working on my new dance moves, and it really paid off.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“Late at night when you can’t sleep, you eat the empty refrigerator.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I do things when I’m drunk that make me look like a hero.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“All I have to do is dance and they give me money.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“Sometimes we have to go through the most painful experiences in order to become the people we’re destined to be.”- Andy Dwyer Quote
“I do so many things wrong it’s taking my brain a long time to catch up with itself.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I had a great night. I played a lot of pool. I lost at pool at The Maple Leaf, but it’s okay.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I think Ron and I will be together forever.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“My friend Andor likes to hang out in the wild and stuff, but he also likes to come down to the city and hang out with me.”- Andy Dwyer Quote
“I’m not afraid of any animal, but I do have a bit of a fear of bears.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“We are such a perfect couple. It’s almost like we were meant to be together.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“If I’m going to be in an intergalactic war, I think the least you could do is tell me about it.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I’m not allergic to anything.” -Andy Dwyer Quote
“I don’t feel like I have to fix all of life’s problems or anything, but I do want to help Ron.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“It’s just a natural part of life.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“If there was one word I could use to describe Ron, it would be ‘responsible’.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I have a pretty good haircut.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“Whoa, look at that guy… he’s like the size of a house!”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“If I could have any superpower, it would be to make exactly what I wanted for breakfast.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I think this is where my head gets all fuzzy and woolsey.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I once forgot to brush my teeth for five weeks.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I think you can tell a lot about people by the shoes they wear.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I think it’s totally worth it to go see a band play in the park just because they’re playing in the park.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“Sometimes I have this pain deep inside, like somehow I’m not good enough for this world.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I occasionally wish my clothes could talk.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“Sometimes I think about how nice it would be if there were like a drug that made you forget all the bad stuff that ever happened to you. But then I think, well what if you did that and then like something really bad happened to someone else… and you were the one who could’ve helped them, and now they’re dead… How would that be for you?”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“This song is called ‘5,000 Candles in the Wind.’”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I got so sick of people asking me for autographs, I had to make a fake name.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I like it when the people on my iPod don’t fight anymore.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“Maybe someday we’ll all be able to live in a house that looks exactly like the one that we’re standing in.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“Ahh…the feeling of freedom…the feeling of being alone in the world and knowing that you don’t have to feel bad about it.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“No offence, but I think the best way to get a girl is when she’s drunk.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“Everyone needs a hobby. It’s just that some hobbies are more fun than others.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“Let me just say, from the bottom of my heart, my bad.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t even know if there’s anyone out there watching me.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“Man, I could go for some chips and salsa right now.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I think Ron’s the only one who can ever see the real me.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“Anything is a toy if you play with it.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I have a lot of emotions, and sometimes they make me do weird things.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I don’t know what’s wrong with Michelle, but I’m not going to ask her.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I’ve been chilling out a lot because that’s what cool people do.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“Sometimes, when I get nervous, my face gets all sweaty.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I’m kind of my own worst enemy.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I think I’ve grown a lot as a person, but I think there’s still a ways to go.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“It’s better to make yourself look crazy than to let people know you’re crazy.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“There’s like 23 different words for horses.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“That is the coolest sentence I have ever heard anybody talk.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I’m not addicted to anything except for a certain little lady.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“The three things I’m most proud of are: getting a tattoo of Ron’s head on my back, getting a tattoo of April on my ankle, and breaking the record for most consecutive days living inside a dumpster.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“If you watch me in the background of any video, you’ll see me dancing all weird and stuff.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I’m really good at crushing a beer can on my forehead.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“If I had to pick one thing to be remembered for, I’d want it to be the fact that I tried really hard at everything I did.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“My mom’s a way cool lady, but I have my doubts about her parenting skills.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I know what things are.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I like these little hot dogs. They’re pretty tasty, and then I can just throw the bone right on the ground.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I don’t think the government appreciates how hard it can be to keep a balanced budget when you’re married.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“As soon as I get fired, Ron’s like, ‘Dwight needs a new assistant.’ And so I come right back in here.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I’m good at a lot of things, but listening isn’t one of them.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“Sometimes I like to dance so much I can’t even stop for cars.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I do a lot of stupid things.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I like it when they play ballads on the radio after big wins because it’s like the ultimate celebration song. I just think it’s so beautiful when they do that.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“It looks like you’re having a bad day.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I wonder, is it possible to ever really know anyone?”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I’m awesome at making people laugh, but I’m not very good at making them do anything.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I’d do anything for my wife.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“Today was just a great day.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I hate this song! I really, really hate it!” -Andy Dwyer Quote
“I think I’m going to quit college and go join the Navy. I hear it’s an awesome life.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I was once beat up by a bunch of third graders.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I sometimes think about how cool it would be if we could all just flip a switch and turn off all the bad stuff in the world and turn on some happiness.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“My toughest fight was probably when I fought with myself.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“For the last time, Ron, it’s Princess Rainbow Sparkle.”- Andy Dwyer Quote
“I’ve never been in a fight before… I think.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“Hey Ron, you got any of that special sauce in your pants? I could use a little rub.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I think the captain of the cheerleading squad is really into me. Yeah, we go to the mall together and stuff.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I think I’m gonna get a tattoo of myself playing the drums.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I’m not here to be liked… I’m here to make my wife happy.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I like to be around people that make me feel good about myself when they’re around me.”- Andy Dwyer Quote
“I once got an A+ on a test in elementary school by using a stolen answer sheet, and I wasn’t even smart enough to think of it first. I mean, it just happened.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“It’s good to have goals in life. Sometimes you reach them, and sometimes you’re just happy if the wind blows the right way.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“Sometimes I think I have so many feelings that I just can’t express them all.”- Andy Dwyer Quote
“I had a boss one time tell me that any of his employees could leave at any time for any reason, and there wouldn’t be any hard feelings. I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“Hiring someone to come in and clean Ron’s bathroom is like adding a new family member.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I feel like I’m getting dumber every day.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I don’t know what you’re talking about! I can’t tell the future!”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“My toughest fight was probably when I fought with myself. ” Andy Dwyer Quote
“I wish I had a hallucination machine that was like a TV and you could look into it and see all the real hallucinations happening all around you.”- Andy Dwyer Quote
“I’m so glad I don’t have the American Express card anymore because no one gets me out of this dumpster anymore!”- Andy Dwyer Quote
“There are two types of people – those who will stand up for what they believe in, and those who won’t. It’s the second group that’s going to end up ruling the world. I’m definitely in the first group.”- Andy Dwyer Quote
“I think Ron should be president, but not because he wants to run, but because he thinks other people don’t.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“There is one thing that always gives me happiness and it is very easy to achieve.”- Andy Dwyer Quote
“I feel like I’m getting dumber every day.”- Andy Dwyer Quote
“I think I could be a good President someday because I’d make America and the world a lot better.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I’ve never been in a fight before… I think.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I used to be afraid of getting fat, but then Ron got fat so now it’s cool.”- Andy Dwyer Quote
“It’s good to have goals in life. Sometimes you reach them, and sometimes you’re just happy if the wind blows the right way.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I always try to take my milk and put it in a cup but I always end up spilling it all over the counter top and putting it on my knuckles and everywhere.”- Andy Dwyer Quote
“I think getting married is like going into a candy store with your best friend. We can have anything we want – except for eating it, because that would take too much work. We can look at anything we want, but we can’t touch.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I think I’m good at a lot of things, but listening isn’t one of them.”- Andy Dwyer Quote
“Sometimes I like to dance so much I can’t even stop for cars.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“Going back to school is always exciting because I get to meet new friends and scare them with my bad ideas and wildly inappropriate behavior.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I’ll never forget the day that I realized, ‘Oh, I can’t see myself just being a hard worker in life that doesn’t get anything back from it. I need to get smarter.'”- Andy Dwyer Quote
“I was once beat up by a bunch of third graders.” -Andy Dwyer Quote
“I think I’m gonna get a tattoo of myself playing the drums.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I’m not here to be liked… I’m here to make my wife happy.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I don’t know what you’re talking about! I can’t tell the future!”- Andy Dwyer Quote
“I sometimes think about how cool it would be if we could all just flip a switch and turn off all the bad stuff in the world and turn on some happiness.” – Andy Dwyer Quote
“Hiring someone to come in and clean Ron’s bathroom is like adding a new family member.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I used to be afraid of getting fat, but then Ron got fat so now it’s cool.” – Andy Dwyer Quote
“It’s good to have goals in life. Sometimes you reach them, and sometimes you’re just happy if the wind blows the right way.” -Andy Dwyer Quote
“Today was just a great day.” -Andy Dwyer Quote
“I think I’m going to quit college and go join the Navy. I hear it’s an awesome life.” -Andy Dwyer Quote
“I think getting married is like going into a candy store with your best friend. We can have anything we want – except for eating it, because that would take too much work. We can look at anything we want, but we can’t touch” – Andy Dwyer Quote
“I like it when they play ballads on the radio after big wins because it’s like the ultimate celebration song. I just think it’s so beautiful when they do that.” – Andy Dwyer Quote
“Sometimes I like to dance so much I can’t even stop for cars.” -Andy Dwyer Quote
“I don’t think the government appreciates how hard it can be to keep a balanced budget when you’re married.” – Andy Dwyer Quote
“I’m not here to be liked… I’m here to make my wife happy.” -Andy Dwyer Quote
“I’m awesome at making people laugh, but I’m not very good at making them do anything.” -Andy Dwyer Quote
“Oh no! If Ron gets his way, I might be out of a job!”- Andy Dwyer Quote
“I feel like I’m getting dumber every day.” -Andy Dwyer Quote
“I’ve never been in a fight before… I think.” -Andy Dwyer Quote
“I think I’m gonna get a tattoo of myself playing the drums.” -Andy Dwyer Quote
“I know that thing that everyone knows about me like how I’m not good at skateboarding and stuff, but I want to tell everyone else about my life too.” – Andy Dwyer Quote
“If only they could hear themselves, because they’d stop talking so much. ” -Andy Dwyer Quote
“I really like listening to sports radio because I don’t know anything about sports.” -Andy Dwyer Quote
“Like if I had a million dollars right now, the first thing I’d do is buy some pants.” – Andy Dwyer Quote
“I’ve never been in a fight before… I think.” -Andy Dwyer Quote
“I think Ron should be president, but not because he wants to run, but because he thinks other people don’t. ” -Andy Dwyer Quote
“I like to help people but not when it’s really hard because I don’t want anyone to say I’m a hero.” – Andy Dwyer Quote
“I like to trick people into thinking that they’re going to help me, and then just take off running down the street yelling, ‘Run for your life!’ It’s fun.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“I hate this song! I really, really hate it!” – Andy Dwyer Quote
“I like to help people but not when it’s really hard because I don’t want anyone to say I’m a hero.” -Andy Dwyer Quote
“I’m not sure what we are celebrating, but it must be something good.” – Andy Dwyer Quote
“I am a professional impressionist. I can do over 70 voices, including imitations of rodents and the elderly.”-Andy Dwyer Quote
“Happiness is the key to success” -Andy Dwyer Quote
“I know that thing that everyone knows about me like how I’m not good at skateboarding and stuff, but I want to tell everyone else about my life too.” – Andy Dwyer Quote
“I feel like a person should be kind to everybody all the time. It’s the way life should be.” – Andy Dwyer Quote
“Some people say I party too much, but I think they have way too much free time.” – Andy Dwyer Quote
