Best Funny Instagram Captions for Bio, Group Photo, Couples, & Selfies
Best Instagram Captions for Bio, Group Photo, Couples, Friends, Family & Selfies
Instagram Captions Instagram is one of the most popular social media platforms and is highly popular among both younger and older audiences. It is ranked as the number one social media platform for taking pictures.
Every day, millions of people take, edit, and post pictures of themselves to their Instagram account. It is easy to create a beautiful collection of pictures and memories through postings on Instagram.
Good Instagram captions can have a difficult time standing out from the many others. There are many benefits to a caption, but what a person shared is the most crucial for a caption to be good.
Additional details to make a caption good are the content, the best hashtags, and the timing of the captions.
A caption can be good if it is a compliment, humorous, or inspirational. Some hashtags that are often used are #fitlove #lifemotivation #positivevibes, but any that matches the content of the post is acceptable.
Utilize these hashtags and be sure to schedule posts in advance to make sure it is not old news.
It is a good idea to develop a caption for your Instagram posts. Every picture needs a caption so that it explains what the photo is about.
However, there are a few rules you need to follow when choosing a caption. -You should not write anything about other people because it might potentially offend them and it might not be polite
- -You should never share your personal information such as where you live -It is better to express your feelings about the picture rather than just a vague caption
- -You should avoid using offensive words or phrases
- -You should not use hashtags without understanding how they work because it might not be polite There are many reasons to use good Instagram Captions.
Funny Instagram Captions for Boyfriend & Girlfriend
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I can’t stop thinking about you!
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You’re my homeboy
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You bring out the best in me
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I’m lucky to have a hot boyfriend like you!
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When I am with you, the sky is always blue and the world is always perfect
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Love of my life? Yes please?
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Thanks for being so amazing because without you, what would I do? 8. I don’t know what I would do without you
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Thank you for being my boyfriend, I love you so much
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My world is a little bit prettier with your smiling face in it
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Because I am in love with you, can’t stop thinking about you
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You are the best thing that ever happened to me, my life is complete now! 13. There’s something about you that makes my life worth living
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You’re my favorite person!
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You brighten my day every time you smile
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You’ve got me all shook up!
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I love it when you make me laugh
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You’re the yin to my yang
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You are more than a boyfriend, you are my partner in crime!
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I’d rather fight with you anytime than be without you forever
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You’re my knight in shining armor
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I love you because you make me happy!
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My heart is always with you!
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You are the perfect man for me!
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I don’t know what I would do without you, thank God that I found you!
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I don’t know what i’d do without u., your my world thank u for being here
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Love on a line? Yes please? 28. You are a very special person in my life
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Without you, I wouldn’t have made it through those hard times
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You are my favorite person on earth!
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If I could lose my heart, I would give it to you – my love
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You make everything in life worthwhile
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My face would never crack a smile without you
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Love of my life, thank you for making me say yes to this question
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I don’t know what I’d do without your cuddles and kisses!
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Precious than gold
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Thank you for being a wonderful boyfriend!
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I love you more than all the stars in the sky!
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Thank you for being my best friend, I love you
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Love of my life, thanks for choosing me!
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I deserve a break today because i have had such a great boyfriend like u
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Love of my life, thanks for being perfect for me!
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You’re the best thing that has happened to me
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Thank you for making my life complete! I love you so much!
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Thanks for being my best friend and for making me say yes to this question
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You make me smile because you are so amazing!
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I love you because everything about you is perfect!
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You make me feel like a woman!
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Without you, my life would be meaningless
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I love you with all my heart!
Caption for Friends Group Photo
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The Inseparables
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Flocks of friends
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The Family
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The outsiders
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The besties
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Groupies
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Favs 4 lyf
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The fam
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The squad
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The four horsemen of the apocalypse
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Friends till the death
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Besties for life
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The family that cheers together, stays together until it doesn’t
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One big happy family
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What’s not to love? We’re all friends! Shirtless though? Never know…
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The Golden Girls
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Friends til the death
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All together now, one big happy family
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One big happy family – let’s do this!
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It’s like one of those cool shows on the Noggin channel
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Friends ’till the end of time (Till they kick me out)
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Family that laughs together, stays together (That is, if we ever do anything to laugh about!)
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The Bunch
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Family of friends
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Besties forever (forever ever)
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Besties for life (forever ever)
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The Impeccables
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The Unbreakables
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The Impeccables and the Unbreakables
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Forever and a day Friends forever – but not for mine, I’m broken beyond repair…
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. Forever and a day Friends forever – but not for mine, I’m broken beyond repair…
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… Besties for life (forever ever)
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Besties Forever – let’s do this!
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Besties forever
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Besties Forever – Let’s do this!
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The Bunch – Family of Friends
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Thoroughly Neat and Tidy Friends
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The Impeccables
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One Huge Happy Family
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I will never be alone, I’ve got friends
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One Big Happy Family
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42 . Best Friends Forever until the end of time
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Besties Forever – let’s do this!
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The Bunch
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Besties forever – let’s do this!
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The Golden Girls
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The Inseparables
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The Flock
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The Outsiders
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Groupies
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Best friends for life
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The Family
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The Outsiders
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The Flock of Friends
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Plurality is strength, right?
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The Inseparables
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Friends Forever – Let’s do this!
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It’s like one of those cool shows on the Noggin channel!
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Let’s go home now, please!
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One Big Happy Family – let’s do this!
Funny Instagram Captions for Friends
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It’s always better to be the best
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than it is to be the second best.
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Lead, follow, or get out of the way.
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Keep calm and laugh about it later!
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You’re never too old for a hug! 🙂
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There are only two types of people in this world: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data–and those who can’t .
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The nail that sticks up is usually hammered down –Japanese Proverb
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A man who is not a genius at forty is no longer a genius at one hundred.
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If you are feeling bored, do something. Otherwise you will be bored with yourself.
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If you’re going to be boring, do it well.
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How to keep people around: tell them their faults are wonderful and they’ll never change!
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Don’t think you are. Know that you are.
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I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul
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Think for yourself! Question authority!
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Overthinking? Nah, I just think of a better ending to your story before it happens…
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Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway
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Don’t be offended by your failures, learn from them and start over!
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Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right and forget about the ones who don’t.
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Success is not measured by what you accomplish, but by the opposition you have encountered, and the courage with which you have maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds 19. Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened ^_^
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Be a wise speck in the great drift of humanity, obey the rules you made you don’t break
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The best way to win friends and influence people is to be yourself-W. C. Fields 22. A new adventure begins with every thought and every step, there’s a door just waiting on me…
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Life is a process that consists of three stages: birth, growth and decay 24. Every time I fail, life gives me another chance…
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Always do for others when you can.
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No matter how bad the past was it will always have this one good thing about it: it’s over 27. Don’t put yourself in a hole, but dig your way out instead -A lotus is lonely.
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Come what may, go where you must; feel your power and your light in every moment, life is a dance 29. Dreams are the commands of our hearts
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Don’t waste time on those who don’t want to spend time with you…
Funny Instagram Captions for Girls
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I’m not bossy, I just know what you should be doing.
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#strictlybusiness
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Smile, it’s a happy day
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If at first you don’t succeed… ask for directions!
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You are better than your lousy ex!
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I’m never giving up on my girl power!
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A woman is like a tea bag — you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water! – Eleanor Roosevelt
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I’m not bossy, I’m the boss
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A real girl is never perfect -she’s a messy, emotional, impulsive, sensitive, beautiful disaster!
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Girls just wanna have fun!
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You’re my end and my beginning
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Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon – Nishan Panwar
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Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much ! – Oscar Wilde
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Girls don’t need guys, girls need real love!
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Girls are like phones: we love to be held, talked-to, and listened-to! – Unknown
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A girl as nice as you Deserves a guy as fine as me!
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She is far too short for an MRI
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I am not bossy, you’re just used to being told what to do by boys!
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Happy girls are the prettiest!
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..it’s a happy day
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Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the ladder, and the boys don’t want to reach for them. They want to kick them down so they’ll grow closer to the ground where the boys can get them! – Hannah Montana
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I don’t know why people think I’m bossy, I’m just just a girl who knows what she wants! – Carly Rae Jepsen
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I never wanted to be a famous person, I wanted to be a famous girl! – Paris Hilton
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Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the ladder, and the boys don’t want to reach for them. They want to kick them down so they’ll grow closer to the ground where the boys can get them! – Hannah Montana
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Girls come into your life one day and change it forever
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A real girl is never perfect -she’s a messy, emotional, impulsive, sensitive, beautiful disaster!
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I don’t want a boyfriend. I just want to be happy! – Miley Cyrus
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A girl can only be good at two things: Cooking and Relationships
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Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the ladder, and the boys don’t want to reach for them. They want to kick them down so they’ll grow closer to the ground where the boys can get them!
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Girls need a little time to grow – Guys just want to squeeze them and throw them away!
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I don’t need a guy, I’m my own man!
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A real girl is never perfect -she’s a messy, emotional, impulsive, sensitive, beautiful disaster!
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I never wanted to be a famous person, I wanted to be a famous girl!
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Girls just wanna have fun!
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Happy girls are the prettiest
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A girl as nice as you deserves a guy as fine as me!
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Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the ladder, and the boys don’t want to reach for them. They want to kick them down so they’ll grow closer to the ground where the boys can get them! – Hannah Montana
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I’m not bossy, I’m the boss!
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I’m never giving up on my girl power!
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A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water! – Eleanor Roosevelt
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A real girl is never perfect -she’s a messy, emotional, impulsive, sensitive, beautiful disaster!
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Girls just wanna have fun!
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You’re my end and my beginning
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Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon – Nishan Panwar
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Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much! – Oscar Wilde
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Girls don’t need guys, girls need real love!
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Girls are like phones: we love to be held, talked-to, and listened to! – Unknown
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A girl as nice as you deserves a guy as fine as me!
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She is far too short for an MRI
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I am not bossy, you’re just used to being told what to do by boys!
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Happy girls are the prettiest!
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Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the ladder, and the boys don’t want to reach for them. They want to kick them down so they’ll grow closer to the ground where the boys can get them! – Hannah Montana
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Girls just wanna have fun!
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Girls can be so mean. Don’t let them see you’re upset, they’ll just love it! – Hayley Williams
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I don’t need a boyfriend. I just want to be happy!
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A real girl is never perfect -she’s a messy, emotional, impulsive, sensitive, beautiful disaster!
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Happy girls are the prettiest!
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You’re my end and my beginning
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Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the ladder, and the boys don’t want to reach for them. They want to kick them down so they’ll grow closer to the ground where the boys can get them!
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I’m never giving up on my girl power!
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A good girl is hard to find
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Girls need a little time to grow – Guys just want to squeeze them and throw them away!
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Men: Never be afraid that your greatest achievements will one day be discovered by women.
Funny Instagram Captions for Beach
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I’m not a mermaid, I’m just waiting for the hippie to get off my rock
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If I am what I eat, then you could call me a simmering pot of despair and regret
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There are two types of people in this world: those who want to know if that’s an ice cream cone in your pocket, and those who don’t care because they don’t have any ice cream cones
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The best cure for insomnia is a good night’s sleep
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The early bird may get the worm, but I’m the early whale and the late fish
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Practice makes perfect! And if you are not practicing, then how can you expect to get even better?
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Where there is a will, there is a way (and the way is usually through me)
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I didn’t have a ladder in my fingers or boots on my feet, but I hopped all the way to work this morning!
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You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me
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You can’t always trust a cat. I mean, you can, but sometimes they lie… about things not being lost
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I’m going to buy a bridge and sell it to you! How does that sound?
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Forget and move on! That’s what I do every night before bedtime
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Sometimes my head explodes so I have to take the morning off and go back to work tomorrow
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I may have many faces, but I can fit in one pair of shoes
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“The only cure for a hangover is another drink.”
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The Lord works in mysterious ways
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My friends keep telling me to get a life, but I don’t know what else I would do with my life… besides sleep
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A butterfly sky so blue, your future’s so bright, you’re as beautiful as you are kind
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I’m sorry, I was talking to myself
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Shut up and float!
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The dog knows the stove isn’t hot; he just can’t touch it.
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I’m a gullible donkey who has been duped by a crazy cat lady
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If shoes were so nice why do birds keep shitting on them?
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You know you’re mature when you buy boxes of tissues for Christmas instead of gifts for friends and family
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Two roads diverged in a yellow wood and I—I took the one less travelled by, And that has made all the difference.
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I’m the Space Needle and I don’t know what the f— is going on
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Things are so simple at night, there’s no crime or hate or war
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It takes two hands to clap and one hand to hold your nose when you sneeze; you just can’t stop it!
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I’m a pirate, and I’m also in charge of this page
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Never trust a cat with a fish; they’ll eat it and lie about it
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The best cure for insomnia is Snoring Pills or Sleeping Pills
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I like my coffee that way… cold and black with two creams! #justsayin
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The party never stops, just so long as the music keeps playing.
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Sleep is merely losing consciousness while dreaming…
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The only cure for a hangover is another drink
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This is just like when Ken yelled “Yo Adrian! I’m on my way!”—except I’m not Ken and Adrian’s here… oops
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There are two types of people in this world: those who believe in horoscopes and those who don’t
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My friends keep telling me to get a life, but I don’t know what else I would do with my life… besides sleep
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Hey! I don’t like your goatee! Shave it off or I’ll shave it off for you
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I’m having an identity crisis. What should I be today?
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Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less travelled by, And that has made all the difference.
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Can my cat-titude get any purr-ier? #justsayin
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I always wanted to meet a beautiful princess but I never expected her to be alive.
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“You’re not supposed to take this stuff on an airplane.”—Eugene Mirman
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No, not really. I’m just taking a selfie-selfie…
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My friends keep telling me to get a life, but I don’t know what else I would do with my life… besides sleep
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There are three stages of sleep: light, medium and dreamless
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I’m just a wandering minstrel who plays the same song and dance at every party.
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My friends keep telling me to get a life, but I don’t know what else I would do with my life… besides sleep
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They say “life is short”… well, my life only lasts about 1,000 years
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Caffeine—a little bit of energy for a little bit of time… #justsayin
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I’m a dog, but I don’t like my bark because it’s not easy to fly with it
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The fire rises, the smoke lingers and then we all die—but I’ll get you some hot cocoa first
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“The only cure for a hangover is another drink.”—Groucho Marx
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Two roads diverged in a yellow wood and I—I took the one less travelled by, And that has made all the difference.
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If I know I’m going to have a bad day, I’ll tape over my mouth
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You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink
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If you stare at a mirror too long, it gets kind of confusing
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The biggest difference between men and women is that women tend to be more honest with their emotions
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When you’re dead your poop turns to perfume and your piss becomes alcohol so why bother? #justsayin
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I’m just a wandering minstrel who plays the same song and dance at every party.
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“You’re not supposed to take this stuff on an airplane.”—Jeff Dunham
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I think this is just like when Ken yelled “Yo Adrian! I’m on my way!”—except I’m not Ken and Adrian’s here… oops
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Life is like a piano: whenever you try to hit A, you get a flat instead
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The only place where ignorance really seems blissful is in the eyes of a child
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“I had a dream that I was on fire and then I thought “Oh no, I can’t be on fire! That would be terrible.””—Woody Allen
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Pride is what makes you suck at life… not a lack of shame… #justsayin
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I don’t get it, but I wish this were my fingers…
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“There’s nothing wrong with your life, except maybe the fact that you’re alive.”—Jeff Foxworthy
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“I don’t wanna be happy, I’m already happy!” #justsayin
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When life gives you lemons, you take a squeezy bottle of lemon juice and pour it all out on my lawn
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Why is a stitch in time better than a stitch in heaven? I dunno… #justsayin
Funny Instagram Captions for Couples
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We’re the only 2 people who understand each other
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When you love somebody, their _______ is your favorite song
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You are my love, my heart and my world
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The perfect date is staying in because we’re already at our favorite place
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My girlfriend and I are like a puzzle: when one of us doesn’t fit, everything falls apart
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Love is like a roller coaster: it has its ups and downs
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We may not be perfect, but we’re perfectly in love
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I met a girl and learned a new word that day: wonderful
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The best thing about me is you
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You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams
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Every time I look at my girlfriend I realize the love I have for her gets bigger and bigger every day
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My boyfriend and I broke up after 9 months because we weren’t compatible as a couple
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If you’re not satisfied with your man’s ______, then you should check out your girl’s
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We may be from different places, but we are from the same place in our hearts
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In love, all you want is to give your everything to someone else
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When you spend a lot of time with a person, they become the _______ of your life
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My girlfriend and I are like a piano: when no one plays it, it’s silent. But when someone does play it, beautiful music comes out
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You’re my favorite person in the whole world. You are also my most hated object in the universe
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My girlfriend and I work together to complete each other
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All those things that you’re meant to do in your life, you do them with the person you love
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Anyone can make you smile or cry, but it takes someone special to make you smile and cry at the same time
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I never was a big fan of romance until I saw girl’s ______ for the first time
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You’re the only person who will never judge me
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Love is the most beautiful feeling in the world
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My girlfriend and I are like Christmas lights: we always shine brighter together
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My boyfriend and I got season tickets to our favorite team, now we never have to see each other
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I looked at his ______ and said, “I’m home!”
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Love isn’t complicated, people are
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If I could choose between loving you and breathing, I would use my last breath to say, “I love you”
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Love isn’t about finding the right person, it’s about being the right person
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Every time I look at your face, it makes me want to do ______
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The best thing about me is you
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You can’t be jealous of a love that you don’t even live in
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My boyfriend and I broke up after 9 months because we weren’t compatible as a couple
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Every time I look at my girlfriend I realize the love I have for her gets bigger and bigger every day
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Love is like a roller coaster: it has its ups and downs
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One of the hardest things about being in love is when your girlfriend messes with your _______
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A perfect relationship is one where you look at her/him and you know that you are not the best thing that has ever happened to them
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We may be from different places, but we are from the same place in our hearts
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My girlfriend and I work together to complete each other
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If a boy can make you laugh every day then he’s worth keeping
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Love isn’t complicated, people are
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When you’re in a relationship, you always know that your significant other will be there for you
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My girlfriend and I are like Christmas lights: we always shine brighter together
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My boyfriend and I got season tickets to our favorite team, now we never have to see each other
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What’s the best feeling in the world? When someone special kisses you with their ______ (fill in the blank)
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Love is the most beautiful feeling in the world
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When you spend a lot of time with a person, they become the _______ of your life
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We may not be perfect, but we’re perfectly in love
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Love isn’t complicated, people are
Funny Instagram Captions for Selfie
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No, I’m not a mirror.
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I’m sorry, I just can’t hear you over my awesomeness.
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It’s 2 AM in the morning and I’m going to bed…stay up!
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Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused #humor
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Rock star by night, ninja by day! #instagramcaptions #selfie #tumblrposts #instaposts
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A life without meaning is like a journey without direction – #selfie
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I was born ready…for anything!
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Don’t be fooled by my sweet smile, I’ll eat you up!”
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Nothing’s impossible for me!
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I am the most interesting man in the world.. #instagramcaptions #tumblrposts #instaposts
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At least…that’s what I tell myself!
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You know you’ve met your match when they don’t even change their clothes. #instagrampost #humor
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I’m so hot right now!
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That’s so original!
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Unfortunately, I don’t speak cat, but I do speak adorable. #selfie
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It’s that time again…where I give you compliments. #humor
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All you need to know is…I have terrible taste in music! #selfie #instagramcaptions #tumblrposts #instaposts
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Looking better than ever!
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This is me after I just got back from the gym, so don’t judge! (i guess) #selfie
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I’m tired but not sleepy, hungry but not full yet… #selfie
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Footloose and fancy free!
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..I can do that again! #selfie
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I do not have my own island, but I do have a boat. #humor #instagramcaptions #tumblrposts #instaposts
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I am a little bit country, a little bit rockabilly and a little bit jazz! #selfie
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I am pretty cute, but I’m also pretty mean too. #humor
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I am not perfect. If only you could see that!
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Laughing at my own #selfie
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Wanna know why I’m smiling? Its because you’re not looking!
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I’m still a kid at heart! #tumblrposts #humor #instagramposts #instagramcaptions
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I don’t always smile, but when I do, it’s awesome. #humor
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Just a kid with a dream!
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Life is so short, laugh as hard as you can! #tumblrposts #instagramcaptions #instaposts
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Happiness is my only weapon against life’s troubles!
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Baby come back!
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If I were you, I would hang out with me too! #humor #selfie
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Timing is everything…expect mine. #humor #tumblrposts
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You say that I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one! #tumblrposts #instagramposts
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It’s my time to shine and your time to watch! #humor
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The future is so bright, I gotta wear shades! #selfie
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I knew you would like me!
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You’re not going anywhere!
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There’s something so photogenic about me!
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I’m so feline! #tumblrposts #instagramcaptions #instaposts
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The way I’m looking at you is the only way anyone has ever looked at you before, and it’s doubtlessly the best they’ve ever seen too! #humor #selfie
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I see a new you every morning. #instagramcaptions
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I have a bad habit of breaking mirrors, but this one is good so I’m keeping it! #selfie
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Even the most beautiful of women need to be made-up! #instagramcaptions #tumblrposts #tumblrposts
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Don’t judge me! I’m under strange circumstances… #selfie
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I knew you’d leave me. #instagramcaptions #tumblrposts #instaposts
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I didn’t do it! I swear…on my mom’s grave… #selfie
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I’m not the kind of girl who will be photographed making fun of you, but I am the kind of girl who will be photographed looking like she is having fun making fun of you! #humor
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I don’t always get my way. #selfie
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We were never meant to be together, but someday I’ll find the girl I was destined for! #humor
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Everyone has a dream! I just think mine is bigger than most people’s! #humor
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..and the world smiles with you! #selfie #tumblrposts
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Don’t judge me when all of your friends have died and you haven’t had a single friend die yet… #selfie
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The problem with my life is…I’m always too busy laughing to cry! #humor
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This feels good… #tumblrposts #insagramcaptions #orinstagram captions
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You’ll never find a guy like me! So instead, I guess you’ll just have to settle for one of the millions of faceless guys on the internet! #tumblrpost
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I love my friends, but I love my shower even more! #instagramcaptions
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I’m not afraid to let the world know…I have self-esteem issues! #humor #selfie
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You’re just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me more than you do!
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My neighbors always keep their curtains closed and lock the doors. It’s one of the things I envy about them. #tumblrposts
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Even though we’re not certain she is very good at it, she puts up with my bizarre behavior so I can have fun! #selfie #instagramcaptions
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They say you have to know somebody to love them…but apparently that only applies if they look like me! #tumblrposts
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When I was younger, I used to believe in forever, now that I’m older and wiser, I know that forever is just a bunch of bull!
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We all have issues: I’m just happy that mine are recognized more than yours! #humor #selfie
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If you can’t handle me when I’m angry then you don’t deserve me when I’m happy! #humor #selfie
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There’s someone for everyone out there…just look for the one that makes you laugh! #humor #instagramcaptions
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I don’t think I cause people any harm because I’m just being myself, but I’m sure some would disagree! #tumblrposts
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It’s not important to be perfect…just sure not to be too awkward! #humor #instagramcaptions
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Our imagination is the only limit we have! #humor #selfie
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I’m not a morning person, but I love to wake up to the smell of coffee! #instagramcaptions #tumblrposts
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If I get one more “you’re so weird” comment, I’m going to scream! #humor #selfie
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When life gives you lemons…make lemondade! #instagramcaptions
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I love writing, acting, and singing the blues! #instagramcaptions #humorous #selfie
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I’m so excited to start my new job next week…the new car smell really gets me going! #instagramcaptions
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I really like the color blue but for some reason all my clothes are black! #humor #TumblrPosts
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Don’t be too critical of others…
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Summer is almost here…see you girls at the lake!
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I didn’t get enough sleep last night, so I’m pretty tired today…
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All my friends were talking on Facebook about getting a new iphone 4s…I’m just glad my 3GS still powers on!
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I’m headed to the gym to meet up with my girlfriend for our weekly workout session…#pumpday #instagramcaptions
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So my friends are all at the club, all dressed up, and I’m here in sweat pants and a t-shirt…yeah…I have no life.
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School is calling…but I’d rather be partying! #instagramcaptions
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Sometimes I feel like everyone is better than me. But then I remember that they’re not! #TumblrPosts
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I’m not one of those people who thinks that if you’re not on Facebook that you don’t exist, but I’m also not one of those people who thinks that if you’re on Facebook then your life sucks! #instagramcaptions
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This is what I get for trying to take a night class…I’m going to need a translator now. #posterous #humor
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Stop worrying about the things that haven’t happened yet…
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I’m so glad that we’re finally moving!
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I keep telling myself that it’s ok to be happy…isn’t it always?
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Sometimes when you need help, people think you’re being rude if you ask for help…I’m not polite! #tumblrposts #humblebrag #selfie
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My name is Beyoncé, and I am a sarcastic diva who wants to find her soulmate…and she is not going alone! #tumblrposts
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I’m so cute…but no one ever notices!
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I’m a people person…I like to be around people…having people around me, and all that jazz!
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I smile in the mirror everyday before I leave the house because it reminds me of how amazing I am! #humor
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If you’re not a morning person, then why aren’t you in bed now? #selfie
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..cause a storm is coming!
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The rain always bothered me, but then I found out that rain was liquid sunshine!
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I’m so glad that my dad never gave up on me when he didn’t have any sons…I’m glad he has me and all my sisters now.
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Are we not men? We are DEFINITELY men! #tumblrposts #humor
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This is the best day of my life because it’s the last one I’ll have to live…
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I think if you’re this happy, you probably don’t have anything to worry about…
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You may not always get your way, but I promise you that you’ll get your day! #tumblrposts #humor
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Sometimes when we talk there will be a moment of silence between us…
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I’m so excited to see my friends tomorrow because we haven’t seen each other in 5 years! #tumblrposts #instagramcaptions
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I’m so tired of trying to be perfect! #selfie #tumblrposts
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You don’t have to be perfect to be amazing!
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I enjoy the little things in life…like a nice walk in the park and a warm hug from my mom! #instagramcaptions #tumblrposts
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If you can’t impress yourself…then you’ll never impress anyone else! #Humor
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This is how I get ready for parties…just kidding, this is how I get ready for school. #humor
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I’m so excited to see my friends tonight because we haven’t seen each other in about 24 years! #tumblrposts
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The problem with dating multiple people is that you never know who might be the one…you never know until you’re finally single and realize it doesn’t matter who you were dating because it was all a waste of time! #selfie #tumblrposts
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If I wasn’t me…then I’d be someone else.
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I’m so excited for tomorrow because it will be my last day ever feeling like this! #selfie #tumblrposts
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This is what I do in the mornings…I watch myself in the mirror and try to see my perfect body, but it never looks like me! #humor #instagramcaptions
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I’m not the type of girl who can change, but I love to change others!
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I’m so excited to see my friends tomorrow because we haven’t seen each other in about 8 years! #tumblrposts #tumblrposts
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By the time you’re old enough to really get into something, it’s too late! #humor
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It’s not that hard if you’re just willing to work for it…
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I hear voices and they don’t like you! #humor #selfie
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I’m sorry but there is no such thing as a free lunch!
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You can keep dreaming, but before you know it, your life will be over… #selfie #tumblrposts
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I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night because I was having so much fun partying! #instagramcaptions
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Sometimes high school comes in really handy…
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You can be so focused on something that you’re not achieving and never realizing it! #tumblrposts
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I’m so excited for tomorrow because I’m finally 17!
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Being out of commission is better than being in the hospital! #tumblrposts
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When I was younger, my friends and I would watch horror movies and pretend that they were scary…back then, it actually looked like fun! #instagramcaptions
Best Funny Instagram Captions
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I’ve been broke my whole life and I’m still not over it.
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The best flowers are the ones you don’t have to water on a daily basis.
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A night with no regrets? You’re drunk or dying.
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We laugh because we can’t weep, we weep because we can’t laugh…yet!
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What’s your favorite animal that doesn’t have a name?
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I told someone I was an atheist and they asked if I believe in gravity. Yeah.
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You can’t spell majestic without “mag” or “nificent” without “mons.”
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I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time”. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
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Their is no harm in a good laugh you may cry but laughter is so much better for your health!
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I don’t see the point in trying to promote my good traits when I can get the same effect by lying.
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When you’re in a job interview and they say, “What’s your biggest weakness?”, try this one on for size: “I don’t know what I want to do.”
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There’s no such thing as bad luck, it’s just a coincidence!
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If you want people to listen to your ideas, make sure it’s easy for them not to shut them out.
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I know why people drink, it’s so they don’t have to think.
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I almost always say I’m a “morning person” because saying “I’m an evening person would be rude.
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High school is like a valedictorian speech, everyone talks about how they’re going to change the world and then it’s over.
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Did you hear about the advice columnist who died? At the end of each column he said, “Please don’t read this if you’re planning on killing yourself.”
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I always thought that people were happiest when they could see their friends’ faces but I see now that’s only true if they can see THEIR faces.
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I was at Wal-Mart and someone made me mad. So I bought everything in the store…all 52 pounds of it!
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The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
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I used to believe in forever, but forever changed.
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It’s funny how the word “I” is always right beside the word “eye.” Coincidence? I think not!
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I love when that person you hate “likes” your Facebook post!
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When life gives you lemons, throw them at people’s heads and yell, “LEMONS!”
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It takes a village of idiots to raise a child.
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These days, religion is less about faith and more about fear of flying.
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I thought I heard a phrase that went something like this: “It’s not whether you win or lose; it’s whether you just don’t quit.”
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If someone asks you why they’re crazy, tell them they’re not insane, they are just very alive!
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It’s hard being green when your clothes are white (unfortunately).
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I am not a morning person… unless you count “in the morning”.
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If your dreams are like a roller coaster, and you’re always on it, you’re doing something wrong.
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I want to know what happened before “and they lived happily ever after.” Usually it’s like that all the way through!
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Did you hear about the earthquake in Washington? Neither did anyone else. It just shook the White House!
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I am not a morning person, if I was I’d probably have been born thousands of years ago when the world was still dark.
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When you’re running late, every minute counts.
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My life is one thing after another: first my shoes, then my car, then my brain.
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Why is it that no matter what color the liquid is in the glass of a medicine bottle, it always ends up being red?
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I’m watching a show about people who are impossibly wealthy. I would watch a show about poor people, but I don’t want to see anyone being poor.
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I wish there was an app that tells me what the person across from me is thinking. And then you’d have to call the police because that person would be insane.
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Why does the man in a big coat always wear a funny hat? Because he didn’t have one before.
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I don’t know where to go, I just know that going there will lead me home!
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It’s funny how those people who are only logical never work and the ones who are only emotional are always on time.
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The only reason my blood pressure has gone down is because my doctor said that high blood pressure can be a symptom of happiness!
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I need to tell you a little secret: I’m not really crazy; I’m just partially insane.
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If your friends are like football players, and your enemies are like quarterbacks, how in the world do you ever get to score?
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I think most people could live their entire lives without ever getting hurt by another human being. However, if you say that out loud, then someone might hit you in the face and make you feel pain again!
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Did you hear about the guy who was in a bar and thought about how dark his room was going to be? He went home and got a hammer.
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Well, if I was good at nothing else, I was good at nothing else!
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If you don’t know where you’re going, every road will take you there!
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Maybe if we all thought more like monkeys we wouldn’t be so high maintenance as human beings…maybe!
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People are weird and they should know it!
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How do you know you’re in love? Because your smart phone shows the same name as your beloved’s.
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You can’t find any friends unless you are a friend first.
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Someone told me there were calories in alcohol, but I don’t see how that could be true!
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A stranger is a friend that you haven’t met yet! (I’d better put this on my social network page!)
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I’m trying to figure out why ketchup doesn’t taste good on steak. I think it’s because steak doesn’t taste good on ketchup.
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I think the best place to be is in your head, because if anyone gets in there, you can immediately leave and no one will ever know!
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It must be tough being a dog, having to spend every day of your life barking up the wrong tree.
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So, after it’s too late, I finally get online. “How’s that relationship going?”
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If you locked all the geniuses in a room and threw away the key, how many of them would still be able to find their way out?
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They say love isn’t in the air, but what do they know? It’s invisible!
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I think that anyone who can’t communicate also can’t communicate, and anyone who can’t communicate probably can’t talk.
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I read somewhere that the longest book in the world was like a tree with over 1 million leaves. I hope this year’s voting ballot is like one of those leaves!
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So many people are so rude because they don’t understand that not everyone wants to be their friend.
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I think people who are rude behind a computer screen are the same as people who are rude in real life.
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I’m so tired of hearing that “kids these days.” I am a kid, and you can’t even see me!
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You know what’s really cool? If Darth Vader was just using the Force like people use magic spells.
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When I grow up, I am going to be the old lady who sits on the corner with her cat and says “meow.”