How to Deal with a Disrespectful Grown Child
Being a parent is one of the most difficult jobs in the world. It requires patience and understanding and the ability to handle any situation, with a calm demeanor.
Dealing with a disrespectful grown child is one of the toughest challenges you can have as a parent. Do not believe that there isn’t anything you can do to make your child behave how you expect them to.
You must be willing to put in the effort needed to set boundaries, enforce consequences, and spend time with your child as these are all necessary to help your child behave how you would like them to.
This can make things difficult when your child is acting defiantly, but as a parent it is your duty to not give up on your child.
The following are some tips about how to deal with a disrespectful grown child.
Cooperate. If you are a parent, you may think that the best way to deal with an unruly grown child is to yell and scold them. However, the best way to handle unruly behavior is to not react. There are many things that could be causing a child to act out. Maybe they are feeling insecure, or they are tired, or they have a lot on their plate. You could really never know the cause of why a child is acting out.
Be patient: If you want your child to change their behavior, then you cannot expect them to change overnight. They need time to adjust and get used to living the way that you want them to. If your child is stubborn, they may not be able to change the way they are feeling about something even though you are appealing to their better nature.
Grown children who are disrespectful of their parents may simply not know better, or they may be lashing out due to their inability to cope with the family situation. Regardless of the reason, it’s important to be patient and find out what the underlying issue is.
Family Rules: Establish a clear set of family rules and boundaries. and stick to them and on their behavior that are not acceptable. Communicate the consequences of breaking the rules. Involve the whole family in laying the rules down. It is your responsibility to make sure that your child respects you and he must obey your house rule. The rules that you set for your children should be defined clearly so that they know exactly what will happen if they break them. By having clear boundaries, you will be able to make your children more aware of the things that they should and shouldn’t do.
Make sure that your child knows that the rules are for everyone: Everyone is equal at your house, and your family rules apply to all members of the family equally. Keep the lines of communication open so that you can find out what is causing your child to behave badly and what needs to be done to correct the situation.
Don’t be too lenient: Kids need to know that there are consequences for their actions. If you are too lenient, they may believe that there will be no consequences and they will continue breaking the rules. Just because your child is not acting out doesn’t mean he is acting well.
Be consistent: If you are using a set of clear, consistent rules for your family, it will make it easier for your child to behave as you would like. If your child is acting out, they may have forgotten what is expected of them or not realize that their actions can result in consequences for them.
Consistency will help your child learn that the rules are in place for a reason: Because they are not following them themselves, or because they are breaking them. Do not change your behavior suddenly. If you have been clear that you will give lots of hugs and kisses, don’t suddenly switch to a stricter policy.
Avoid Arguing: When you are dealing with a disrespectful child, they may be unwilling to listen to reason. If you try to argue with them or lay down the law in a forceful manner, this can result in more aggressive behavior and can escalate the situation.
Be lovingly firm: You may not always be able to get your child to comply with your wishes, but you can try to remain loving and firm when they are being stubborn or disrespectful. Make sure you have an explanation for why you are asking them to do something and that there is a reason behind the request, otherwise they may just ignore you and not listen.
Take away a privilege: If your child is not listening to you or being respectful, then you need to take action and decide on a consequence for their behavior. You can take away the things they enjoy doing, such as watching TV or playing video games.
Approach them without anger: Don’t blame your child unless you are certain of what they did wrong, and be clear about why this is a problem. Rather than saying “You are acting like such a little brat,” try “I know you were laughing really loud at dinner time, and it was pretty annoying. Please don’t do it again.” Keep the lines of communication open so that you can find out what is causing your child to behave badly and what needs to be done to correct the situation.
Encourage your child: It can be difficult for a child to behave how you would like when they are acting out, but you can encourage them to change their behavior in many ways. Use active encouragement such as “It’s really nice when you want to follow my rules.” If they are feeling discouraged, offer encouragement like, “You seem upset. Tell me what’s wrong. Tell me how you feel.” If your child is acting defiant, ask if he needs help to calm down and if so, offer to spend time with him.
Sometimes Ignore bad behavior: If your child is behaving badly, you don’t want to say or do anything that will make the situation worse, such as reacting with anger or scolding. Simply ignore the bad behavior and wait until it is appropriate for you to speak with your child.
Be a good listener: Even if your child has behaved badly, try not to be quick to judge them or become frustrated. Ask them if they are okay, if they need anything and if you can help them in any way. Let your child know that you are always available to talk.
Be calm: If your child is misbehaving, make sure that you remain calm. If you get angry or raise your voice, this will push your child to continue their bad behavior. And don’t give them any attention for the bad behavior, or it will reinforce it.
Reward good behavior: When you see your child behaving nicely or being respectful, take this time as an opportunity to enjoy some one-on-one time with them and do something special together. You can also avoid giving in to their demands, and reward them for doing something you wanted them to do, such as cleaning their room or playing nicely with their brother.
Connect after chaos: If your child is acting out and being disrespectful, try to connect with them after the situation has calmed down so that you can talk about what happened. Let them know that they are loved and appreciated and that you will always be there for them.
In conclusion, Children learn through observation. They watch their parents and then copy them so if you want to get rid of Bad Habits in your child, you need to change yourself too. Bad Habits take a long time to change so don’t expect quick results; just be encouraged by every little improvement that your child makes.
When Children Hurt Their Parents’ Quotes
Take care of your parents when they’re old and sick.
Be careful with what you say to them, even if they deserve it.
Never leave your parents alone and make sure they have food or water in the house.
Remember that one day you might be their age, and you’ll regret the choices you make now when it’s too late for help to come back up to speed with what happened because time has passed on already…
The miracle of children is that we just don’t know how they will change or who they will become.
The path of development is a journey of discovery that is clear only in retrospect, and it’s rarely a straight line
When you make mistakes with your children, don’t be afraid to say sorry – this can help repair the relationship and teach them empathy and the importance of saying sorry.
Do not undermine your child’s confidence; do not put them down in front of their friends or allow others to do so either.
Parents and children need time together each day just to be together without distractions.
Set a good example for your child in all that you do, including how you talk about other people’s looks and behaviour.
When children have to be punished, it’s much better for them and for you if they feel that they have done something wrong.
Never rely on your child’s friends to tell you what is happening with your child and what kind of behaviour is appropriate.
It’s easy for teenagers to fall into the trap of doing whatever everyone else is doing as a way of trying to fit in.
Parents should take an interest in what their children are doing, and try to see things from their point of view.
A good relationship with your child is based not just on being clever but also on being able to put yourself in their shoes.
Once I said to my father, ‘Why do you want me?’ I still think that’s the bravest thing I’ve ever done.” ― China Miéville.
“The parent trap” is a special hell.
A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity; it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.”
Be there for your parents – they need you to be a good person, even if they don’t ask you to do it.
Your parents will do anything for you, you know. They’re trying their best and they want you to love them just as they love you.
We can learn more from children than they can ever teach us.
“Parents, don’t let your kids grow up to be jerks!” ― Steven Wright
When your children are small, it takes a village to raise them; but when they’re adolescents, it takes a village to save them…
Don’t have children if you don’t want to set a good example.
Parents are not always right, but they are never to blame
“It’s always best to speak the truth in love.” ― Paul Maquuen’
When children hurt their parents quotes
“Parents should teach their children the meaning of life, and then let them go.” ― Robert Heinlein
“My father liked to read me stories about monsters. As I got older, I realized he was one.” ― Stephen King
“If you’re good at something, never do it for free.” ― Tom Stoppard
“Kiss your dad on the lips and not just in the mouth!” ― James McMullan
“You are not just your child’s parent, but you are their friend as well.” ― Anonymous
“Parental Love is a curious thing. It is not every child who can command it; And when he can, it is the most valuable of worldly possessions.” ― Charles Lamb
“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.” ― Anne Frank
“A weak parent makes strong children. That is how a rat becomes a rat terrier.” ― Brendan Behan
“A child’s greatest fear is of losing his/her parents to death.” ― David Foster Wallace
“If you love something, set it free; if it comes back, it’s yours forever.” ― Richard Bach
“Parents are people with a certain outlook on life. They have come to this planet with some credo and a certain way of viewing things and they believe that the way they see the world is how everyone should see it.” ― Joey Lawrence
“Parents with children can’t help but to want to tell everyone else how they’re doing it. I find that fascinating. I have friends who have kids, and there is a mutual status update constantly going on. There is this weird feeling of, “Oh, my child just used the toilet for the first time!”
“The art of parenting begins in the home. Parents are to be actively involved and encourage their children to be equally so.”
“If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.”
“You become what you think about the most” ― Dale Carnegie
“The greatest gift you can give your child is who they grow up to be.”
“It’s a wonderful thing to have parents. It’s a terrible thing to have children.” ― Albert Einstein
“You can choose where you see yourself in the next few decades, and if you do not actively carve that out of your life, someone else will make it for you.” ― Thomas Sowell
“Parents aren’t supposed to say “I told you so”. That’s the job of those who love them though.”
“Parents can always make time for their children, when they make time for themselves.”
“My mother was the sun and the moon to me. She is still my sun and moon.” ― Pablo Neruda
“The world is a cruel place, so be kind to yourself if you’re not being kind to others.” ― Anonymous
“We are our parents’ softest critics.” ― Christopher Morley
“In the beginning God created Parents”
“Never marry your high school sweetheart.” ― Johnny Depp
“When you want to give up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place.” ― Anonymous
“Maybe its better to be lucky than good. Or smart.”
“It is a thousand times better to have common sense without education than to have education without common sense.”
“I chose my friends carefully, but it was my parents who made me who I am today.”
“A good son is always grateful for his parents’ support and encouragement.”
“Even after all this time, I can’t believe how lucky I am to have had you as my mom, and I can’t imagine life without you. Happy Mother’s Day!”
“If you become a parent, the family doesn’t end with your kids.” ― Steve Harvey
“Kindness begins at home, but it shouldn’t end there.
Quotes About Disrespecting Your Mother
“You don’t have to like your mother, but she does have to like you.”
“Disrespecting my mother is like disrespecting the only man I know who has not been deleted from my genome.”
“My mother was always very concerned with me” -John Cleese
“I once read a work of literature in which the author said that when a woman is criticized, she feels as though she were being hit with a blunt object.
“There is no graceful way to get out of the house without an argument.” – Phyllis Diller
“Remember, you can’t be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics don’t grow up. Cynics stay children.” – Richard Rohr
“If you write in the sand, the sea will wipe it away, but if you write on a mother’s hand, it will live for ever.” -song by the Kinks
[mother] “What do you want to be when you grow up?” [child] “A football player” -Roddy Doyle
“Mothers are better than fathers because they drink coffee and are funny” -Richard Pryor
“For every task we assign to our mothers, we assign the same number of tasks to ourselves.” -Lincoln Chafee
“I was becoming increasingly aware that I had a problem with mothers, and I didn’t know why” -Walt Disney
“The only person who has more trouble with your mother than you do is your mother.”-Rodney Dangerfield
It’s hard to be good when your mother tells you not to be good…
“I have been studying my mother for the past twenty years.” – Katherine Hepburn
“My mother has an old-fashioned ideal of what a woman should be, which makes me think that one doesn’t want to be like her.” – Camille Paglia
“We are all born with an innate understanding of what’s wrong in the world, and also an innate understanding of what’s right…And if people want to take advantage of that and exploit that…that’s their business.” -Charles Manson
“Our mothers are our first and most desperate critics” – George Bernard Shaw
“Mothers are people who will outlive you, outlive their children, outlive their husbands and outlive the whole world.” -Bizet
“Sometimes the problems that come to us in life are not a lesson, but a gift…Nothing can really prepare you for the things you’ll have to face in your motherhood.” – Elizabeth Gilbert
“I’ve always had a special relationship with my mother. I don’t know what it is, I can hardly explain it. She simply knows who I am and loves me for me” – Julia Roberts
“Mothers think they know everything…They don’t.” – Oprah Winfrey
“I have re-discovered my childhood hero and that is my mother.” – Lee Miller
“Be kinder than necessary, for there are times when unnecessary words may be more effective than necessary ones. You must be tolerant when your mother is deliberate, understanding when she is impulsive, and forgiving when she is foolish.” – Napoleon
“Mothers are the source of so much sorrow and pain, but also so much affection and love.” – Monica Lewinsky
“If you want to find a good mother, look for one who has lost one son on the battlefield.” – William J Raphaelson
“Mothers are so beautiful. It’s the mothers that give everything.” – A. J. Croce
“Marrying a mother is like marrying your own mother” – Pablo Picasso
“It’s important to my mother that I do the right thing, fully aware that she doesn’t care what I do because she loves me no matter what anyone does or says.” – Vidal Sassoon
“Mama is the best medicine in the world” – Thich Nhat Hanh
“My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.” – Mark Twain
“My mother was a saint.” – Winston Churchill
“I cannot picture my mother being a mean person or telling bad jokes about people behind their backs, but she could have done all of those things and I just wasn’t mature enough to be aware of them” – Jimmy Carter
“Mothers are the strongest people in the world, they’re just not very strong physically.” – Gwyneth Paltrow
“It is easier for a woman to go through childbirth than to find a man who is willing to tolerate her mother.” – Joanna Lumley
“I think my mother got married as a result of her mother’s advice: she told my mother that the way to get on was to marry somebody in the church” – George Bernard Shaw
“One can never know how much one has loved someone until they have lost them.” – Sofia Coppola
“It’s wonderful that my parents had me when they did, because I really was a cute kid. I still am, really.” – Cher
“I like my father because he was not too involved with me as a kid, and my mother says that’s when I was like a little boy.” – Steve Martin
“Mothers are the women who have to deal with all of that. It’s because of mothers that we can have that soft quiet place to go from the hard, white, hot light outside.” – Carrie Underwood
“My mother was a human soul before she was a woman.” – Zora Neale Hurston
“The only time my mother really knew what she wanted was when she wanted more babies.” – Jessica Lange
“Women are just as competent as men. The difference is, they often hide it better.” – Margaret Thatcher
“She’s one of the best cooks I’ve ever had and a great mother, too.” – Linda Ronstadt
“My mother was a film-maker and the comment that she got from her male colleagues was even more critical. Will this nonsense stop now? Is it over?” – Jean-Luc Godard
“When I look at my mother, I think she is beautiful although she isn’t aware of it. When I look at her and I see tears coming from her eyes, I see everything that we’ve been through.” – Christina Aguilera
“The day my mother taught me about love and acceptance was the day that she told me the facts of life” – Drew Barrymore
“My mother had an answer for everything, including what time of the month it was.” – Jack Benny
“When you’re a kid, it’s your mom and your dad who are there for everything. And then suddenly as you get older, and your parents aren’t so much in the picture, I think it’s harder on women.” – Al Jaffee
“There’s something very special about a mother…” – Florence Welch
“I’ve always called my mother my rock” – Ellen DeGeneres
“I’d rather have something to look forward to than be alone in life.
Parents Hurt Your Feelings Quotes
Parents are the ones who show you love, so when they hurt you, they want to know why.
Parents are the ones who show you, love, so when they hurt you, all they want is your forgiveness.
You have one parent. No matter how many there are or if it’s a parent from another family member or not a blood relation at all…there’s only one real ‘parent’ in your life … and that’s God.
A person’s true personality is usually revealed to their parent.
Parents who hurt because they love, that’s blessing.
You don’t need a reason to love your parents trust me you just don’t…
Children have to be taught how to treat their parents before they can learn how to treat their spouse and children, but what we do know is that you can start right now!
Our parents will love you and want what best for you it’s true, but they don’t always know what’s best for us.
By nature, we love our parents no matter how bad or irrational their behavior is, but when they hurt us, we feel devastated and confused… and all of this hurts!
Parents are the ones who cause the most harm to our hearts but are also those who are capable of giving us the greatest love.
When a parent hurts you, they want to know why and when they get an answer they feel better, but really to make them feel better we have to take responsibility for our own actions.
Parents help children but hurt parents in the process because there is no guidebook on how to raise a child.
God won’t give you more than you can handle… he just drops it on your already full plate!
You’ll regret the things that hurt your parent more than anything else in the world.
The way to a parent’s heart is through their child because even the strongest of parents feel helpless before their own children.
You can’t make your parents happy by being who they want you to be, but you can make them happy by being who you are supposed to be!
When a parent hurts… those wounds hurt us still and they do for life…because we never forget how it felt to be rejected or abandoned by a parent figure.
When parents are hurting, they show their children how to heal in a situation while at the same time they offer strength and hope to the child.
When parents hurt us we may even become hardened on purpose!
You will always care whether your parent is happy or not, no matter if you’re just a child or a grown-up.
We only remember bad things that happen to us, but when a parent hurts us they remember all the good things and all the bad things we’ve done.
When parents hurt their children, they do it for their own good…but you can never forget how they made you feel, no matter if it was out of love or out of anger…you can never forget the pain that burned inside.
Children Who Disrespect Their Parents Quotes
A child who is allowed to be disrespectful to his parents will not have true respect for anyone.
You cannot respect another person until you have earned the right to do so.
The only way you can earn the right to respect is if you show it first, and this means respecting your parents by listening to them and following their instructions – even when they’re not around.
If a child respects his parents, he has a much better chance of respecting others in the future; if he does not respect his parents, he will never be able to truly feel respected by anyone – including himself.
A child who disobeys his parents, or does not listen to his parents when they tell him something, doesn’t just disrespect them – he disrespects himself.
Just like one must love oneself before they can truly love others, they must also respect themselves before they can truly respect anyone else; if a child has not learned to respect his own parents, he will never truly feel respected by anyone else – and that is why it is so important for a child to learn how to respect his parents.
If you do not respect your parents, you are not likely to respect anyone else.
A child who disrespects his parents becomes an adult who disrespects others; an adult disrespectful of others ends up in the jail, or is on drugs.
In the future, after a person has been to jail, he will probably be less likely to respect or listen to someone if that person is in any way disrespectful of him.
And if someone disrespects you, it is not easy to respect them back; in the future, disrespectful people are often disliked by others.
Before you can truly respect anyone else, you must first learn how to respect yourself and your parents; no one respects a person who fails to show them the proper amount of respect.
Discipline is the best way for a parent to show their child that they respect them.
If you are not disciplined as a child, you will have a much harder time being disciplined as an adult; if children are never disciplined, they often grow up to be undisciplined adults who find it difficult to listen to anyone – even themselves.
As such, discipline is necessary for any child who hopes to be respectful as an adult; and the way that a parent disciplines their child teaches their child everything they need to know about how a parent (and others) will expect them to behave in the future, once they are adults.
Although you might not think it at first, your parents were once children, too – and you can learn a lot about respect by looking at the way your parents treat others.
All people in the world should be treated with respect, but not all people can be respectful.
Some people will always disrespect others; and anyone who does not respect other people is usually disrespectful of others – perhaps even of themselves.
If you want to truly respect everyone, you have to first learn to respect yourself and your parents; if you do not love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to love you?
If you do not respect yourself, you will never respect anyone; if you do not respect your parents, you will never truly respect others.
If a child is disrespectful to their parents, they are likely to be disrespectful to their teachers – but this does not mean that all children who have been disrespectful to their teachers will end up being disrespectful as adults; many people can learn to be respectful of others after they have been disciplined as a child – even when they are children.
The way that you are treated as a child has everything to do with how you will be treated in the future; if you respect your parents, you have already earned the right to be respected by everyone else.
Children who respect their parents are more likely to respect other people in the future; children who disrespect their parents are more likely to disrespect others in the future.
If you don’t respect your teachers, you will have a hard time respecting your parents.
If you don’t respect your father, you are not likely to respect your mother, either; if you are disrespectful to both of them, how can anyone respect you?
Children who disrespect their parents are children who have not earned the right to be respected by others – because they have failed to respect themselves and their parents.
It is hard for anyone to respect another person if that person does not respect themself; even if you think you respect yourself, if you do not treat others with respect, no one else will either.
If a child loves his parents, he will want nothing more than to show his parents his love – in the form of respect.
When Children Hurt Their Parents Quotes
Children must not be allowed to do what they want without the permission of their parents and teachers. The punishment for doing so will be whatever the offender believes is fair.
What is good for the goose is good for the gander. If a child develops an unhealthy habit, he or she can injure his parents when they try to curtail that behavior with self-control and discipline, whether it’s understanding how their actions affect others or going against their values or principles.
If your parents do not know you are in trouble, they cannot help you.
When children come home with their report cards, praise them for putting themselves into a corner so they can be disciplined.
Shunning is one of the worst things you can do to a child because it denies him the opportunity to learn from his own mistakes and understand the consequences of bad behavior.
You cannot teach a child to be patient. He can only learn it by watching and experiencing for himself how hard it can be to sit through unpleasant things, even the ones you have set up for him.
You are the parent of your children, not their friend or playmate. No matter how much they want to please you, accept what they say with an open mind. You cannot be friends with someone if they don’t know that anything you say could hurt them or upset them at any time.
Respect is the most important thing that a child can learn from their parents; if you do not respect your parents, you will not be respected by anyone else.
If you do not respect yourself, how can you expect others to respect you?
If your parents had enough respect for you to teach you how to be respectful, they would have treated themselves with the same level of respect.
Those who lack respect for their parents are unlikely to have a lot of respect for anyone else; if you do not respect yourself, how can you expect others to respect you?
If a child is disrespectful to their teachers, they are not likely to be respectful as adults; if a child is disrespectful to their parents, they are much more likely to be disrespectful as adults.
Sample Letter to Daughter Who is Disrespectful
Hey (Daughter’s name),
I have to tell you that I’m really upset with your behavior. I know you’re a responsible girl and that you’ve never been disrespectful like this before, so what happened? You have a younger sister who looks up to you and your actions are going to influence her negatively if you keep this up.
You’re using words that are inappropriate for anyone – and especially for a young lady of your age. You know that I don’t like to raise my voice, so I’m trying not to get too loud about this.
But you’ve got a lot of growing up to do and I have a feeling you’re going to be shocked when I tell you this, but your mother and father are NOT the people who are at fault here. It is YOU. The disrespect is coming from inside of you.
You think that you can just shove everything away, but the words and thoughts are still there. You’re thinking them and saying them. And that means you need to decide to stop it.
“I will not tolerate disrespect from my daughter”
First of all, we’ve got to get this out in the open so we can start working on the root of your problem. We’ve got to deal with some serious issues about your attitude, or else I won’t be able to help you with this situation at all. Here’s the thing:
Disrespect and abuse are never acceptable. You see, I don’t want to raise you to be a disrespectful person. I don’t want you to disrespect me or your father or anyone else.
I want everyone that comes under your roof to know that we will always respect them and treat them with the highest dignity and respect. It’s true in my home as well, in my classroom, and at the workplace.
Too often, people are taught to be disrespectful. To treat others like they are second-class citizens instead of equal individuals with dignity and worth.
You see, I don’t want you to disrespect me or anyone else. And I know that we have been over this already lots of times before – but you seem to think that this is just a phase you’re going through or something that will go away once the TV show ends.
Those thoughts aren’t what you want to believe, but you’re going to have to. Too many of us go through this kind of thing at school or at the workplace – and it is treated as okay, not something that needs to be stopped.
Disrespecting your parents or me is showing a lack of respect for how much work we put in every day. But I guess I shouldn’t tell you that – because then you’ll think that I’m trying to be mean and that will make things worse.
I’m not being mean, I promise. I’m just trying to be honest with you so that we can finally get this problem fixed.
“I don’t want to be disrespectful”
This letter is actually from a mother to her daughter. Her daughter had disrespected her and she was really upset with her. So, she sent a strong message to the girl.
You can use it just to remind your kids that you love them, but they are not supposed to treat you disrespectfully or talk like that in the future.
It’s very important for adults to show their children how they feel, especially when they do things you don’t like and want something different from them.
If you want, you can write like a father if you are a mother or vice versa. It can change according to your needs. In addition, it can be written in an informal style or formal one.
Any style is good as long as it sounds good to you and your child. The main point of it is that we need to tell what we feel and how we feel when our children do not obey us.
“I love you! And I am sorry that I cannot allow anything that goes against my wishes.
I know that I have said it before, but I want you to remember something. You’re not just my child. You’re also my friend, and I do not want you to lose that special place in my heart. If you start being disrespectful, that is the end of our friendship.
“I do not like seeing you act this way.”
You are too good for this kind of thing, and you need to change your attitude right away before it is too late.