310+ (BEST) Inspirational Michael Scott Quotes About Life, Love &Work
Who is Michael Scott? About Michael Scott
Michael Scott is the protagonist of the American TV show “The Office” on NBC. It is a mockumentary sitcom depicting the everyday lives of office employees who work at the Scranton Branch of the fictional Dunder Mifflin Paper Company.
The show ran from 2005 to 201 Michael Scott has a terribly awkward personality, and he is not always the most intelligent. He is also an incredibly misguided boss at times and a consistently embarrassing and inappropriate friend.
But he possesses a strange charm that is tough to resist, and he has a certain visionary quality about him that no one can overlook. Michael Scott has no idea that he is constantly embarrassing himself.
Michael Scott is known for being a cheery optimist. He has a good work ethic and is always striving to better himself. He has aspirations of becoming a regional manager, and is sure of himself, telling his employees “Don’t forget, you work for me.”
He also has unshakable faith in himself, as seen in “The Client” episode when he tells his employees he can solve the situation with a talk, and they reply, “No. You really can’t.” Michael totally ignores them and goes into the office.
Best Michael Scott Quotes
“I learned a while back that if I do not text 911, people do not return my calls. Um, but people always return my calls because they think that something horrible has happened.” – Michael Scott
“The worst thing about prison was the Dementors. They were flying all over the place and they were scary and they’d come down and they’d suck the soul out of your body and it hurt!”- Michael Scott
“I am the wealth manager here. I mean, obviously, if you can’t trust an attractive, youngish man in a suit you’re pretty much out of luck. If you have any money, just give it to me now.” – Michael Scott
“It is St. Patrick’s Day. And here in Scranton, that is a huge deal. It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas.”- Michael Scott
“Oh, you must have a very good day. Or else you’d be at the party searching for a guy that doesn’t exist.” – Michael Scott
“I don’t know what it is about you. That’s just the kind of guy I am.”- Michael Scott
“How many people would you guess have met me in the past year?”… “I’d say 50.” – Michael Scott
“Just to fill you in, there is currently an investigation being conducted by every law enforcement agency within a one hundred mile radius. High speed chase, armed robbery, murder…heavily armed murder. All we asked is that you didn’t tell anyone.” – Michael Scott
“It’s a very sweet offer, but I don’t want any of your money. And I…don’t want you to give me money. I just…I don’t think you should give me money. That doesn’t sound right. Stop it. Just…just stop it!” – Michael Scott
“What about a senior center?”- Michael Scott
“I got a lot of co-workers. I mean, I told you, right? I am a financial planner.” – Michael Scott
“When I say the word ‘grace,’ it sounds like a sculpture on the side of the building.” – Michael Scott
“What do you want?”- Michael Scott
“I’m sorry I’ve been so distracted lately, I’ve just been trying to sort out my life.” – Michael Scott
“I’m like a tree. I have a huge, fat trunk. And then there’s other branches, and then there’s like these leaves here, and they’re just kind of hanging out.” – Michael Scott
“I know that there are a lot of problems that the gay community is facing right now, but with this visit to Africa and with everything I’ve learned here, I think that being gay might not be as bad as we all think it is.” – Michael Scott
“And then the audience is just sitting there. And then I said, ‘Excuse me,’ If you’re not careful you could miss this, and I’m sure none of you want to miss this.’ And then they’re all like ‘Ooooh!’ because I got them. And they loved it!”- Michael Scott
“But I’ll tell you what, if we’d have all stuck together like this in high school, there’s no way we’d be working here.” – Michael Scott
“You know, I wasn’t always a big fan of children, but ever since I had one of my own, all I can say is…watch out!”- Michael Scott
“Well, the real problem is that with so many people using computers nowadays the English language is changing. There are fewer and fewer words to describe what’s going on in the office. It’s like your thought process is getting clouded by e-mail and file sharing and IMs. We need new words, like ‘helicopter parent,’ ‘the googles’ and of course, ‘the michael scott.'” – Michael Scott
“That wasn’t just a woman who was shot, that was a human being with a family and friends.” – Michael Scott
“I prefer people in their 40s. Actually, it’s more of a 30s thing for me.”- Michael Scott
“I don’t have any children. I’ve never been married. But I’m close to my nieces and nephews. And our dogs are like our children.”- Michael Scott
“Now, you’re a good person! You’re a hard worker! Yes, you’re a little scatterbrained, but that’s okay!” – Michael Scott
“You know what? Wait here. I’ll be right back.” – Michael Scott
“You know, I don’t have any family to speak of. It’s been my lifelong dream to have a big family. I’d probably get home late and try to cook dinner sometimes…but mostly just give you all some money.” – Michael Scott
“You’re not bad, but you’re not good enough, either.”- Michael Scott
“But believe me, you’re the best applicant we’ve had in months!” The interviewee: Dunder Mifflin salesman Puddy
“My name is Michael Scott, and I am sorry. I am sorry.” – Michael Scott
“Michael, you cannot dress like a vagabond, unless you’re a vagabond.” – Dwight Schrute to Michael Scott
“You know what? I think my biggest mistake is that I put myself in situations where I’m not taking advantage of being a good guy.” – Michael Scott
“I’m not a very good salesman. I’m not a very good salesman. I don’t- I- I’m not a very good salesman.” – Michael Scott
“And in one of those boxes, there’s a picture of me holding hands with Abraham Lincoln. And I didn’t even know it until just now.” – Michael Scott
“I love this company, and I love my job. But you know, I don’t want to be a mini-me of my dad. I don’t think that’s cool.” – Michael Scott
“Michael?! What are you doing?” – Jim Halpert
“Did you see what he was wearing?” – Jim Halpert to The camera crew
“I am Michael Scott.” – Michael Scott
“What have you done with my dog?” – Pam Beesly about Pam’s dog Champion
“Thank you so much, Mr. Creed.” – Michael Scott
“I don’t know what your problem is with me, but I’m not that guy anymore.” – Michael Scott
“That was the best decision I ever made.” – Michael Scott
“I want to sell a $5 million house!” – Dwight Schrute when he sees a window air-conditioner
“Welcome to the rest of your life.” – Dwight Schrute to Michael Scott
“I don’t need help, and I don’t want your help.” – Michael Scott to Dwight Schrute
“I’ve got a degree in computer science, but I really should’ve gotten one in marketing or business because I’m lousy at technology.” – Darryl Philbin
“I’m not here for a long time; I’m here for a good time.” – Kelly Kapoor
“I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming.” – Michael Scott
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Inspirational Michael Scott Quotes
“A wedding is a very special day for a man when he is surrounded by his closest friends… and his future wife.” – Michael Scott
“The worst thing about prison was the Dementors. They were flying all over the place and they were scary and they’d come down and they’d suck the soul out of your body and it hurt!”- Michael Scott
“I feel like all my kids grew up and then they married each other. It’s every parent’s dream.”- Michael Scott 4. “I can’t deal with your crazy a** anymore.” – Michael Scott
“There was a mistake in the shipping department! I said ‘No more black people!’, but they heard ‘More black people.’”- Michael Scott
“I got my Oscar Mayer Weiner down here!”- Michael Scott
“I want you to be better than me … because I have high standards and you should too.” – Michael Scott
“I will always be here for you, even if it’s only to provide a good example.”- Michael Scott
“You know what would be the best thing about having a girlfriend? Having someone to split the group bill with like on the weekend or going out to eat.”- Michael Scott
“And then I realized he didn’t even buy me any lunch that day.”- Michael Scott
“It comes in so fast, and it goes out so slow.”- Michael Scott
“When I look at her, I see an older woman and a very confused young man.” – Michael Scott
“Because there’s nothing better than a friend who lets you play with his Action Men when he’s not home.” – Michael Scott
“Some people need a high-five. In the face. With a chair!”- Michael Scott
“You can’t be a wet blanket at a pajama party.” – Michael Scott
“I’m like the old man who puffs on his pipe, but I’m not as cool.”- Michael Scott
“I only have 15 sales to go till I reach my quota! And if every sale was a footlong sub, we’d all be billionaires!”- Michael Scott
“I need you to know that I am proud of you and I respect the heck out of you. You have so much potential and you’re very smart and you’re going places.” – Michael Scott
“If I don’t sell within a couple of days, I’ll be lucky if this whole thing has a chance to survive.”- Michael Scott
“They (employees) are so used to getting all these promotions that they forget what it felt like to do the job for money.” – Michael Scott
Michael Scott Quotes About Love
“I just want a girlfriend so I can get a huge, huge wedding and invite everyone in the office and get massive discounts on all the stuff!” – Michael Scott
“We’ve got to keep this baby in the refrigerator until it’s born.” – Michael Scott
“Toby tells me that he’s really excited about the baby shower. You know, because he thinks it’s an actual shower for babies.” – Michael Scott
“I’ve never had kids before… I’ve never been married before either. This is a whole new world for me.” – Michael Scott
“I really want to get married, but it’s just that I don’t know if I’m ready. How do you know when you’re ready?” – Michael Scott
“There was a point in my life when all I did was work, and no matter what time of day it was or where I was, as long as there wasn’t a woman around and the lights were off.” – Michael Scott
“I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship. I’m not even sure if I know how to have one. I’ve never had a relationship before.” – Michael Scott
“Why is there so much pressure on me?” – Michael Scott
“I want to win this so bad, but I can’t because it’s not fair!” – Michael Scott
“I wish you could come with me… that would be really special.” – Michael Scott to Holly Flax
“I went to the dentist for my teeth, but when I came out, I left with your heart.” – Michael Scott
“I think this is really romantic! [Baby] lives in Florida. She’s 15 years older than me. And she was on a 50-foot yacht in the middle of the ocean with her billionaire husband.” – Michael Scott
“I love my job” – Michael Scott
“It’s amazing how you can love two people at the same time. It doesn’t make it right, but it makes it normal.”- Michael Scott
“I’ve made so many mistakes and hurt so many people that I don’t know if I can love a woman the right way.”- Michael Scott
“We are not getting divorced because that’s illegal!” – Michael Scott
“But I don’t want to use my hand.
Michael Scott Quotes About Work
“I love my job” – Michael Scott
“I can’t believe you’re actually going to make me wear a dress. And a push-up bra? Are you out of your mind? You know what I always wanted? I always wanted to be on Iron Chef, but no one would let me on Iron Chef. I’m like the Michelob guy.” – Michael Scott
“The best thing about my job is that I never have to do anything.” – Michael Scott
“There’s no place like this! There’s no place like this!” – Michael Scott
“We’re closing at 6:00, and I’m gonna be here till 7:00. And there’s nothing you can do about it.” – Michael Scott
“I never had a diamond before. I don’t know why, but that makes me feel wealthy.” – Michael Scott
“It just feels like something big is going to happen… like all of a sudden, you’re gonna wake up and remember everything. You’ll be happy. You’ll do lots of things.” – Michael Scott
“I can always tell when I’m not going to get the promotion. It’s like it’s already happened, and I’m still sitting in my office.” – Michael Scott
“There’s no doubt about it: I don’t think we can sell these houses.” – Michael Scott
“I want the Darryl model of a workplace. I want to be able to go into a room with somebody, sit down, talk about baseball for five minutes, and then do whatever we were gonna do. That’s the Darryl model.” – Michael Scott
“The spirit of this company is so incredible that sometimes I think it’s going to start talking to me through our plants.” – Michael Scott
“My brain is bursting with ideas… I feel like my mind has reached its maximum capacity. Like it’s maxed out.” – Michael Scott
“We’re going to build the tallest building in Scranton, and we’re gonna put it on the roof of this building.” – Michael Scott
“I think I’m going to buy a home in New York City and start an architecture firm.” – Michael Scott
“I think I’ve finally cracked the code on selling houses.” – Michael Scott
“I’ll just blow off steam by running a mile.” – Michael Scott
“People who are successful are more likely to be stupid. They just think they’re being smart.” – Michael Scott
“I don’t know what I’m doing half the time, but it feels like I’m doing something important.” – Michael Scott
“Sometimes you have to put up with a lot in order to get the picture.”- Michael Scott
“I’ll be up all night like those old mummies… think about what I do. I work for a living.” – Michael Scott
“She (Oscar) told me to be more confident, and that just made me feel foolish.”- Michael Scott
“She will not be fired! She will not be fired! Absolutely not!” – Michael Scott
“I’m not really sure if I know how to be married yet.”- Michael Scott
“David, is there a reason why you are lifting that paper like it’s the last thing you ever read? Put that down.” – Michael Scott
“Hey guys, got some good news! I’m pregnant!” – Michael Scott
“I feel really bad for the guy. It was just a hard job and he didn’t want to lose it.” – Michael Scott
Michael Scott Quotes About Life
“I’ve never felt like I fit in anywhere… I think it’s because I’m so weird.” – Michael Scott
“I want to be a really good mother…I’ll teach my child to always tell the truth and to never lie, cheating is so lame.” – Michael Scott
“It’s like the real me is in there somewhere, you know? And he wants out.”- Michael Scott
“I’m not even sure if I can be a good stepfather, to be honest.” – Michael Scott
“There’s nothing more refreshing than the cold air of a Pennsylvania winter.” – Michael Scott
“There’s nothing as motivating as running into someone when you’re not expecting it.”- Michael Scott
“I’m gonna be like John Wayne, man! I’m gonna go out there and kick some butt!” – Michael Scott
“I don’t know where this job is taking me.” – Michael Scott
“Adrian, when you go on vacation, you should linger a little longer in the hotel room and let it all sink in.”- Michael Scott
“I’ve never had a friend that knew I got up every morning at 6 am, drank four cups of coffee and went at it.” – Michael Scott
“JWOWW was supposed to be funny…and it turns out she’s a pretty good cook.” – Michael Scott
“I like to live my life in the fast lane… I don’t like to get caught in traffic.” – Michael Scott
“I’m sure that no one is going to bother me while I’m in the women’s restroom.” – Michael Scott
“It might be hard to do when you’re dead, but try not to die today if you can help it.” – Michael Scott
“It was just a joke, okay? I’m sorry. That’s just the kind of guy I am, honest to a fault.” – Michael Scott
“Just because someone has an accent doesn’t mean they’re smart or that they know what they’re talking about.” – Michael Scott
“It’s like every time I start dating somebody, their father passes away right after. Isn’t that weird?” – Michael Scott
“I don’t have a big ego… I just think I’m funny.” – Michael Scott
“I’m just trying to play it safe, but maybe I should try to make some of my own mistakes and learn from them.” – Michael Scott
“That’s what your father would do… that’s what my father would do… not me.” – Michael Scott
“I don’t like any of my brothers, except for Toby… I love him the most.” – Michael Scott
“I think I’m one of the few people who knows how to work a Kantar.” – Michael Scott
“I’m in the middle of a huge decision, and it’s hard… I just gotta pick one and stick with it.” – Michael Scott
“I just want to find somebody who wants to be with me.” – Michael Scott
“I wanted my first kiss to be special… I wanted it to be an experience that I’d remember for the rest of my life.
Michael Scott Quotes You Miss 100
“A man is not a good thing to waste.” – Michael Scott
“It’s like I’ve got the worm that keeps on giving and giving.” – Michael Scott
“Jan, it’s not your fault when you forget and you let the fire department in. They don’t do it out of spite, they do it because they’re expecting a baby!” – Michael Scott
“I will tell you my life story, but I’m gonna need about ten years to do it.” – Michael Scott
“I think that no matter how successful you are in this world, to some people it’s just not good enough.” – Michael Scott
“I think this is gonna be the best night of my life! I hope to be able to plan my own wedding someday.”- Michael Scott
“I’m never going to grow up… I can just hear it now… “The adults are talking again!” – Michael Scott
“I don’t like for my children to feel inferior or inadequate. I want them to know that they’re special.” – Michael Scott
“Sometimes it’s good when you make something wrong, because when you make something right it’s gonna seem really weird.” – Michael Scott
“Remember: You want your husband to be as crazy as you are.” – Michael Scott
“There’s nothing more exciting than putting on your uniform.” – Michael Scott
“I’ve gotta be the best, there’s no two ways about it.” – Michael Scott
“A woman wouldn’t be afraid of a clown with a stutter and a red nose… that just sounds ridiculous!”- Michael Scott
“If you want the girl, you got to put on the cologne.” – Michael Scott
Michael Scott Quotes About Toby
“I don’t get it, he’s my best friend, I haven’t done anything to him… why’s he acting like this? Like, what’s his problem?” – Michael Scott
“Do you guys want me to send Toby down there to have a talk with those two derelicts?” – Michael Scott
“This is the most shocking thing I’ve ever heard!” – Michael Scott
“Toby is like a son to me… Well, he’s no son to me.” – Michael Scott
“You’re like the son I never had… And you’re like a brother I never had. And you’re also like another brother I never had.” – Michael Scott
“I can’t believe that girl has so many guys after her! What is wrong with this world?”- Michael Scott
“Toby, you know, sometimes when people are really good friends and everything… the friendship burns brighter than the romance.” – Michael Scott
“You know what, just forget it! I was going to tell you, but now I’m not!” – Michael Scott
“I will never be mean to Toby again! I can’t believe how nice you’re being right now.” – Michael Scott
“It’s like Sesame Street in here… there’s no way I’m gonna remember all these people and all these names…” – Michael Scott
“Actually, I should have told you sooner… I’m planning on asking someone to marry me, and I need your help.” – Michael Scott
“Toby likes being the only person in the office with a college degree.” – Michael Scott
“She’s gonna think that she’s marrying me and she’s really marrying you!”- Michael Scott
Michael Scott Quotes About Holly
“I need something better than coffee to function.” – Michael Scott
“So what if you are only the receptionist? That doesn’t mean I can’t have a little fun with you.” – Michael Scott
“You can learn a lot about a woman from her purse… like whether or not she has any money.” – Michael Scott
“It’s called ‘Company Policy’ for a reason, you know?” – Michael Scott
“I feel like I’ve known you for years, Holly.” – Michael Scott
“It’s nice to know that when the chips are down, I can always count on you.” – Michael Scott
“You will learn what it means to have heart.”- Michael Scott
“Am I stupid? Yes I am stupid or whatever, right? Or am I stupid… No… not stupid…?”- Michael Scott
“I just don’t want you to be upset when I make a decision that might negatively affect our relationship.”- Michael Scott
“Holly, I am going to go in there so I can break up with her. Are you prepared for that? Because that’s what’s happening.” – Michael Scott
“Basketball, just like any other sport, is 90% mental. It’s all about the mental game.” – Michael Scott
“The most loyal friend you can have is an ex-girlfriend.” – Michael Scott
“I am a friend that you should hold on to, and never let go.” – Michael Scott
“This is not a relationship, Holly, this is just me being really nice to someone who I care about and who cares about me too. I’m being a good friend to you! I’m not… not… I’m not leading you on or anything!” – Michael Scott
“Hello, Holly. How you doing? You look beautiful today! How was your weekend, what were you up to? Ohhhhhh hardy ahhhhh… What… what’s wrong?”- Michael Scott
“I think that sometimes it just depends on where your priorities are and how much attention you can give something else.” – Michael Scott
“Holly, I love you. I know that now. And I have for a long time.” – Michael Scott
“Holly, you know what you are? A really good friend. You’re like the wife that I never had except I do have a wife and it’s Pam!” – Michael Scott
“Ohhhh she left with the guy who plays ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage… that’s a little weird, huh?”- Michael Scott
Michael Scott Quotes About Friends
“Donna’s really upset, she thinks we’re all being insensitive to the blind.” – Michael Scott
“The one thing that I do not like about the friends that I have is that they are always trying to set me up with people!” – Michael Scott
“I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about me and Jan, because there isn’t anything going on… other than friendship.” – Michael Scott
“I mean, it’s hard enough to be friends with people in this office.” – Michael Scott
“Then there’s Toby, who I think is a great personal trainer, and without any ego… no really… I do think he has an ego!” – Michael Scott
“And now that you’re single again, it might be a good idea for you to get involved with somebody else.” – Michael Scott
“You can yell at your kid all you want, but that doesn’t mean she’s gonna stop taking her Communion.” – Michael Scott
“Jan and I don’t have a history… I’m not sure what our relationship is… it’s an on-again, off-again relationship.” – Michael Scott
“After all, we made the mistake of becoming friends with two people who were going out in public together, and now we have to live with the consequences.”- Michael Scott
“I started the day with a cup of coffee, I finished the day with a cup of coffee, and I’m all right!”- Michael Scott
“You’re still trying to decide whether it’s weird or not that Jan and I have been friends for so long?” – Michael Scott
“I just want to be friends!” – Michael Scott
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Michael Scott Quotes About Jan
“And then she says, ‘Well, maybe you should get to know him a little better.’ And I say, ‘Maybe I should?’” – Michael Scott
“Michael keeps giving me this weird look like he thinks that Jan and I are dating secretly.” – Michael Scott
“I don’t pretend to know what goes on in the minds… or bodies of women.” – Michael Scott
“You think you can get away from me that easily? I will chase you to the ends of the Earth!”- Michael Scott
“The women never like me but the men always seem to want to be my friend.” – Michael Scott
“I will never be second best to Jan!”- Michael Scott
“Jan’s always been the one that has put up with me.” – Michael Scott
“You’ve got to let them know that they’re special… just like you do for your children!” – Michael Scott
“That’s the difference between men and women, you know? Women like things even if they don’t work.” – Michael Scott
“If you’re not a little interested, there’s something wrong with you!” – Michael Scott
“Jan, I just want to know if you’re gonna be with me forever and ever.” – Michael Scott
“I just want you to be happy!”- Michael Scott
“So now we were best friends and in love… but now I have no idea what’s going on.”- Michael Scott
