77+ (BEST) Funniest Jim Halpert Quotes

Jim Halpert Quotes

Jim: “How you doing?” Michael: “I’d be doing better if the guys didn’t have to come over to my house, make me taste their food, and then they leave without taking anything home.”

Jim: “That’s one tiny little binder.” Michael: “Don’t worry about it. You’ll get used to it.” Jim: “But it’s so tiny. How could I get used to something so small?”

“A dollop of mustard.” — Dwight Schrute, Michael Scott, and Jim Halpert

“I’m compelled to call the police.” — Jim Halpert

“Yes, my vision is 20/20.” —Jim Halpert

“Okay, so this is the part where you ask me to dance.” —Jim Halpert

“Before I ask you to dance, do you think we can get this guy a drink?” —Jim Halper, Dwight Schrute and Michael Scott

“You’re here because of my foot fetish, aren’t you?” — Jim Halpert

“We have a sign-in sheet. So you’re gonna have to sign in.” — Jim Halpert

“Well, then I’ll just stay here the rest of my life.” — Jim Halpert

“Well, it’s never boring around here.” — Jim Halpert

“That’s not my fault! I had no idea that would happen!” — Jim Halpert

“Well, I’ll be sure to tell the guys I’ve got a little brother in town. They might be more receptive to me bringing food over.” — Jim Halper

“I know how you feel, it’s like being stationed in a foreign country and then having your whole family flown out for Christmas.” — Jim Halper

“I’m coming home with you.” — Jim Halper

“These are my people.” — Jim Halper

“I just realized, I don’t have to be good at anything. I’m fabulous at nothing.” — Jim Halper

“I’m at wit’s end.” —Jim Halpert

“Do you like my face? Do you think I’m handsome?” —Jim Halpert

“It’s a lot of pressure to be the boss.” —Jim Halpert

“My foot hurts.” — Jim Halpert

“I don’t even know how to tell you how long I’ve been dreaming about this moment.” — Jim Halpert

“I love you too, Michael. Now you hurt my feelings.” — Jim Halper

“In my world, there’s two kinds of people: those who try harder and those who suck up.” — Jim Halper

“There are only two kinds of eaters: those who eat and lose weight, and those who don’t eat at all.” — Jim Halper

“I’m here to make you a deal. You break your foot, I’ll break mine.” — Jim Halper

“You are a god among men.” — Jim Halper

This is it. The big moment. Your first kiss.” —Jim Halper

“That is a lot of weight to put on any man.” — Jim Halper

“You’re such a great guy, Michael, you deserve the best in life.” — Jim Halper

“You’re so good looking, I don’t want to look at you.” — Jim Halper

“Why did you bring me all the way out here just to embarrass me?” — Jim Halper

“It’s not easy being the nice guy.” — Jim Halper

“I think he’s got tunnel vision, it’s like he doesn’t know where you are when he’s talking to you.” — Jim Halper

“I have met my match. I have met my complete equal. It’s you.” — Jim Halper

“You deserve to be in the right frame of mind. And the right frame of mind is happy.” — Jim Halper

“This will be the most important thing you’ve ever done.” — Jim Halper

“Don’t worry, I have a date tonight.” —Jim Halper

“I just want to be able to hold your hand without being questioned by security”. —Jim Halper

“He’s just a bad person, okay, great guy but just a bad person.” —Jim Halper

“I can’t believe you’re making me work on Valentine’s Day.” — Jim Halper

“I don’t even think that’s physically possible.” — Jim Halper

“Does it make you nervous being around so many attractive people?” — Jim Halper

“I know it doesn’t, but I’m drinking it anyway.” — Jim Halper

“You are the perfect guy for me.” — Jim Halper

“This is going to be a wonderful night, I can feel it coming all night long, and then it isn’t.” —Jim Halper

“A kiss could be a comma, an exclamation points or an intensive care unit.” -Jim Halper